A Recipe for a Neurodiversity-Affirming Christmas in Early Years

December in early years settings can feel like a whirlwind: sparkly, sensory, exciting and at times, overwhelming. For many neurodivergent children the festive season brings big changes in routine, environment, expectations and emotional energy.

This recipe will help you create a Christmas that’s rooted in empathy, connection, and inclusion, one that honours every child’s nervous system, every child’s way of being and every family’s reality.

Ingredients

2 cups of genuine connection

A big handful of curiosity for behaviour changes

1 generous scoop of sensory safety

3 tablespoons of predictable routines

A pinch (or two!) of flexibility

A jug of inclusive thinking, especially for those nativity plays

1 spoonful of gentle pacing

A dash of communication, preparing children for what’s ahead

A drizzle of co-regulation, especially on high-energy days

A basket of alternative ways to join in

1 heaped helping of compassion for parents, who may feel festive pressure

Method

1. Begin with connection as your base.

December feelings run high, neurodivergent children often sense the shifts long before adults see them, the talk of Santa, busier streets, late nights, tired grown-ups and lots of anticipation. Connection calms the nervous system and creates emotional safety, which matters more than any festive activity.

Start each day with grounding connection:

“How is your body feeling today?”

“What would help you feel safe this morning?”

2. Add a big handful of curiosity to behaviour changes.

As routines stretch and environments get busier, children’s behaviour can shift, but rather than assuming excitement or misbehaviour, always stay curious.  Curiosity softens our responses. It lets us see the child beneath the behaviour, they why and respond in a way that truly supports them.

What has changed for them today?

Is this behaviour communicating overwhelm or uncertainty?

What might feel confusing, loud, unpredictable, or tiring?

3. Fold in sensory safety.

Christmas can be a sensory minefield: flashing lights, music, glitter, new textures, busy rooms, strong smells and unexpected noises.  Offer sensory safety by:

·       Choosing static lights rather than flashing ones

·       Introducing decorations gradually

·       Keeping a consistent calm, balance space available

·       Offering noise-reducing options and sensory tools

·       Being mindful of textures in festive clothing and costumes

Remember, a regulated child can enjoy more of the magic.

4. Stir in predictable routines wherever possible.

Neurodivergent children often rely on routine for a sense of safety, and we know December can disrupt that, so predictability becomes even more essential. Use:

·       Updated visual timetables

·       Clear explanations for changes

·       Countdown calendars for special events

·       Simple language: “First… then…”, “Today is different because…”

The more secure the child feels, the more they can enjoy what’s happening.

5. Season generously with flexibility.

Festive activities often come with traditions and grown-up expectations: sitting still, singing loudly, performing confidently. But many children engage differently and that is okay, so let’s offer flexible participation options:

·       Watching the nativity from the side

·       Taking a non-speaking or backstage role

·       Recording a line instead of performing live

·       Joining for a small part of the activity

·       Opting out completely and choosing calmer alternatives

Inclusion doesn’t mean everyone doing the same thing, it means everyone having access to what helps them belong.

6. Mix in gentle pacing and avoid big surprises.

Surprises can feel magical for some children and deeply dysregulating for others. Sudden Santa visits, unexpected parties, or last-minute timetable changes can create stress rather than joy.

You can support children by:

·       Giving plenty of notice

·       Using visuals and social stories

·       Providing choices about involvement

·       Allowing extra regulation time before and after events

·       A gently paced December helps prevent overwhelm.

7. Drizzle in co-regulation and compassion.

December brings collective tiredness, the team, families and children all feel it. Make space for slow moments, calm interactions, co-regulation and a slower pace where needed. Calm and regulated adults create calm regulated environments, even on the busiest days.

8. Finally, fold in compassion and permission for parents.

Families of neurodivergent children can feel enormous pressure during the festive season, pressure to attend events, keep up with traditions, create magical moments and match Instagram-perfect ideas of Christmas.  As educators, we can offer them something really powerful: permission.

Permission to do Christmas their way.  Permission to choose gentler days.  Permission to say no to events that will dysregulate their child.  Permission to simplify, slow down, and protect their family’s wellbeing.

Remind parents:

“Your Christmas doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.”

“Doing what works for your child is not failing, it’s great parenting.”

“A calm Christmas is just as magical as a busy one.”

When parents feel seen and supported, the whole family can breathe.

Serving Suggestion

Serve this recipe daily throughout December. Add warm smiles, lower demands and space for calm and regulation. Taste regularly and adjust the ingredients based on the children and families in front of you, because they are the true experts in what helps them feel safe, seen, and celebrated.